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almost Alice

I’m late, I’m late
but I don’t recall
what I was
running for
and time
falls away
as we tumble down
this rabbit hole

it felt slower in my head
faster in your bed

messy and
raw and

I’ve always been
the wrong Alice
an impossible thing
buttered wings
a flower that sings
a mouse that drinks
too much

I was just
I was just

curious and

when you smile
did it ever reach
your eyes?
or did you disappear
in fear
that some girl
would finally see you
for what you nearly are?

I knew who you were
this morning

but you’ve changed
so many times
since then

drink me
eat me
devour me
until you’re towering

the whites
in your eyes
paints the skies red

your voice
in my head

we wander
utterly bonkers
as I wonder
so utterly breathless

can’t you give me
something real?

I blink, and
you reappear
how many times
I’ve tried
to keep you here

I wish
I could be
just Alice

but this place,
this you,

it’s madness.